While we as a Christian community may have many valuable priorities, we often neglect the environment in which the priorities thrive. Our priorities include evangelism, discipleship, Bible studies, and church services (to name only a few). The environment in which the priorities thrive is “community” (i.e. fellowship and relationship). We are good at programming events and yet weak when it comes to the environment of intentional relationship building. Everything that we do should be judged and run through a relational grid. We are built for, and thrive in, the environment of community (biblically it’s called kionania). Let me illustrate with a common scenario.
Imagine Ross (6), frustrated with Grant (11) for taking a significant lead in a video game (this is mostly hypothetical). Ross now boldly stands, shuts off the television and walks proudly away. Grant (like most healthy big brothers) takes the low road by turning the video competition into real life wrestling. At some point Sarah (not usually me because I tend to wrestle too) steps in and insists that Ross apologizes (now here comes my point… finally). The apology is a quiet, mumbled “I’m sorry,” which is spoken simultaneously with the rolling of eyes (which means “I’m sorry, but not really”). Nothing is settled…. but he technically apologized. Just because an apology is made does not mean that an apology was really offered. Likewise, just because we meet together in the same room does not necessarily mean that we are intentionally growing relationships.
The number one reason people attend church is fellowship. It is not the preaching, the music or the content of a Bible study… it is always about relationships. This does not mean that preaching, music or Bible studies lack value, but that they are more successful within the environment of relationships. We have been created for community. We thrive and become healthy in an environment of care, conversation and when we are intentional about growing relationships. Just because we “meet together” does not mean that we are really “meeting together.”
So who’s to blame? Well…let’s start with me. I need to speak more often to the value of the environment of intentional relationship building. No matter our programming, we must be about intentional relationship building. Secondly, our campus is to blame. We must adapt our facilities to be more naturally conducive for conversation, community and relationships. More chairs, tables, and yes… coffee. Our campus must be viewed through the relational grid. If our campus says, “the program is over, you can leave now,” then something needs to change. Thirdly (now it’s your turn), we must personally bring to every Christian gathering the “atmosphere” of relationship building. It cannot be programmed; it must be personally and intentionally brought by each of us. Come a bit early, stay late, sit and relax while you invest yourself into the life of another.
From AWANA, to choir, to a small group Bible study, success is achieved when we intentionally create an environment for relationship building. For the sake of care and healthy growth, let’s commit together to Christian fellowship and apply the relationship grid to all we do.
Pastor Robb Williams
21 Guinn Drive, Washington, PA 15301 United States
Copyright © 2024 Pastor Robb Williams - All Rights Reserved.
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